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"Margaret Thatcher is kinda my idol and I love her"

By The Onion at 11:32 AM 5/31/2020 (PDT)

Our reporters had the pleasure and privilege to speak with the Interim Prime Minister of Great Britain after the unfaithful death of the beloved Margaret Thatcher. The weight on his shoulders seemed to be overbearing and painstaking.

What do you believe is the most pressing issue within the United Kingdom at the moment?

The current terrorist attacks, there have been attacks throughout the UK, northern and throughout Ireland, the attack in “Briteaiin,” and the attack that killed Margret Thatcher.

What is currently on your agenda as IPM?

I would like to have a militaristic sense of power over the IRA, intimidation has worked to a slight extent, but it is mediocre at best. Obviously, we can’t attack specific members, but I have good hopes for the Cabinet. The Cabinet has done a good job.

Do you think there is disagreement within the Cabinet?

The original intimidation tactics went too far. For organizations that are vigilant like the IRA, it is important that we should be taking action and not just showing off. That makes us look weak.

Are there communication problems in the Cabinet?

People are feeling inclined to agree with one another. Thatcherism is so profound and no one wants to disagree. “Margaret Thatcher is kinda my idol and I love her.”

How do you think you are doing as a replacement for Margret Thatcher?

I don’t think I am doing what she wants, I’m trying to do her military strategy. The cabinet is looking at the economy, but “there is no price for the security of our people.”

Look out Britain, Margaret Thatcher 2.0 is here to snatch some wigs.

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