China popped off

By The Onion at 12:11 PM 5/31/2020 (PDT)

With their first resolution safely tucked away in the UNSC archives, the committee rapidly progresses to the arbitrary Topic B, which might have been something related to the validity of the Venezuelan government or political instability… something like that. While the “I forgot to put my hand down”s persisted, there were quite a many interesting viewpoints presented on the Venezuelan government. Estonia, for one, suggested that the Venezuelan president “be outed” while China, surprisingly, suggested humanitarian aid. China seems to have had a change of heart as they talked of avoiding an unnecessary war. After a quick vote in the UNSC, it was found that four nations supported Maduro while eight supported Guardo. Recognizing these sentiments, it seems that the best way for the UNSC to move forward would be to exile Maduro from the face of the Earth atop one of the nukes in possession of the nations and graciously accept Guardo as the rightful leader. In fact, China spoke about the need to take quick action on this issue of leadership and move forward with combatting the instability throughout the region. Recognizing the “clear cut division” Viet Nam brought up, it would be most effective to just move forward with this reporter’s plan.

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