Delegates Need To Stop Speaking Out Of Turn And Follow UBT Procedure, Director Is Infuriated

By The Onion at 12:23 PM 5/30/2020 (PDT)

Expressing frustration that delegates were speaking out of turn and speaking for longer than they should, the Dais semi-condescendingly explained how exactly a Q&A session would work with someone who claimed that the other bloc was going to be depicted moments after leader Ordnance claimed that “the direction [the committee would be] moving in is force, force, force. No negotiations.” The Advisor to the Malay State spoke about some kind of sacrifice to express faithfulness to the opposition. Within seconds, director of JCC Bloc 2 and founder of the incredible Universal Basic Training (UBT), Nils Berzins, had to remind delegates to wait until they were called on. He told reporters Saturday that delegates often spoke out of turn without asking questions and neglected to follow basic crisis procedures. When asked how this lack of proper sentiment made him feel, he responded with a passionate “It INFURIATES ME. The inner precipices of my soul scream with disappointment.” It seems that these delegates have acted in such a manner that their director’s ability to spell has been negatively impacted. While delegates tried to find ways to resolve their conditions within China, the Dais fruitlessly tried to maintain professionalism and encourage the same. The rowdy delegates yelled at one another and posted the other bloc’s directives in their chat. Reporters believe that it is in the best interest of everyone that they be wary around Bloc 2 because no one can predict what will happen next.

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