By The Onion at 3:10 PM 5/31/2020 (PDT)
With less than an hour left in committee, the CSTD has fallen into an unfortunate cycle of how to handle the finances of their technological monopolies. Discussions and disagreements regarding their data uses, market sharing, and various other establishments of software data use. The Onion is reminded of their discussion with TruthOut the day before regarding the CSTD’s discussions on AI in warfare and fears some sort of unsolicited intervention from the represented government. When Japan mentioned changing the wording of one of the clauses to “strongly recommends,” the committee hypnotically agreed and returned to their complaint riddled typing on their shared document. Despite being in the last hour of the conference, it seems technological difficulties are ever-persisting as they were over 24 hours ago. In the attempt to control the flow of overlapping speeches, the United States made the fruitless effort to guide some of the committee to use the chat feature, but the committee ignored his requests.
With time working against them, the committee scrambles to piece together a functional bundle of ideas for their second topic. However, it seems that the committee longs to hold into their roots as their paper is riddled with mentions of artificial intelligence involved in software development. It seems that these delegates had much preferred the idea of battling threats using innovation that dealing with the exhausting finances of forever growing technological monopolies. With every clause, after a lengthy 20 seconds of debate, the committee decides to leave ultimate decisions to each nation. Kenya brought up having high school graduates work on the boards of their tech company teams, but the United States completely shut this idea down. The United States shared their sentiments by confidently pointing out that education in the United States was very different from education in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. As debate drones on, the delegates seem to be getting tired of the complexity of the issue after the action packed discussions on AI in Warfare. Seems reasonable all things consider
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